Disquietude I 

Part of an ongoing series of manually distressed 35mm negative images with minor digital manipulations. Each image is created and distressed based off of my personal experience struggling with anxiety and depression.

In 'Disquietude I' the film negatives were soaked in whiskey prior to being exposed creating a disruptive environment, the break in the middle serves as an uncomfortable break in the image. This break represents society’s uneasiness with mental health and the ways in which our society tries to distance itself from the fact that anxiety and depression exist.

The headdress represents the inner mind and the sharp negative thoughts that coincide with panic and anxiety, while the eyes represent society’s judgement towards the mental health community.

 

Anxiety | Portland Film Photograph | Tien Austin
Destroyed Film | Anxiety | Tien Austin Photography

Disquietude II

Shot on distressed 35mm film with minor digital manipulations. The second piece in my 'Disquietude II’ captures what if feels like to experience an anxiety while living in our world today. At the top of the image, the mind is clouded and can hardly make itself seen or heard. In the middle the figure appears to be trying to break free, attempting to pull itself from anxiety’s grip. Finally at the bottom the figure appears serene, being represented the way society expects them to be.


In my ‘Disquietude’ series, each image has been distressed manually. This technique of distressing film prior to the exposure of the film also serves as another level of symbolism. Before the development of the film negatives, the outcome the distress is unknown. This forces me to allow the medium to take over parts of my work, and to accept the result of the technique. This is much like anxiety in that at times if feels as though you can only control bits and pieces of your life during periods of panic and distress.

Model: Kaylin R.